One month

The first month of Calvin's life flew by. But then it also feels like he's been with us for a lot longer than just a month. I think the hardest thing (at least for me) this past month has been trying to balance my time, and trying to make sure I get one-on-one time everyday with each kid. Madi likes her structured "school time" (which requires my attention of assigning and checking her work, listening to her read to me, etc. etc.), while Elle and I always did something special in the afternoons together (which now has been divided and shared with Calvin), and then I want to make sure I get quality time with Calvin- not just nurse, burp, and lay him down cause I'm too busy to give him more time and attention (which always seems to be the case). We were all watching home videos the other day- back from when the girls were babies. I was dying over how much time I spent giving Madi a sponge bath! HA! Cal's lucky if his baths are longer than a couple minutes. I have hours of videos of the girls (well, mostly of Madi)- taping every cute little thing they did and all the adorable faces made. Made me feel a little guilty for Calvin (and any other kids we might add to our family). I am determined to document really well this time around though. I wasn't blogging back when Madi was born, so I don't have a detailed account of her first month of life. And for some reason I wasn't as detailed as I wish I would have been with Elle. I particularly wish I would have documented more about how I felt through all of it. So, just for record keeping sake, I'll be including more of that kinda stuff.

First week:
This was probably the easiest week of the month just because of all the help I was getting- and no one was expecting me to cook, clean, deal with the girls, etc. Everyone assumes you'll be in tons of pain and need at least 2 weeks to recover. Lucky for me, I always feel fabulous after delivery, and this one was no different. I actually think I felt the best after Cal's delivery than I did with the other two. The only pain I had was the major cramping that comes during nursing- which this time was the worst I've ever experienced- but luckily it would stop when Calvin would stop eating. I also had 4 days of a major stiff neck and headaches.

As for Calvin, he pretty much slept the entire first week away. He was never awake for more than an hour at a time. A great eater from day one, rarely spit up, and immediately took to the binky. Not to mention we were completely smitten with him. Much time was spent adoring his handsome facial features, beautiful blue eyes, tiny little body, big feet, and long skinny arms and legs.

Second week:
By week two, I was itchin to get back into my work-out routine. But due to lack of sleep it was hard getting out of bed in the morning. Spencer would get up with the girls at 6:45/7am, giving me another 45 minutes to an hour of sleep. It was at Cal's 2 week mark that I slowly started back into my Gilad videos. Cal also had lots of outings this week- his first Target run (done with both sisters in tow might I add), first park outing, trip to the dentist for Madi, as well as my first night alone (Spencer on an overnight business trip) with all three kids.

And Cal really was still a dream at this point. He was quick to get his days and nights on track- making his longest stretches of sleep at night (one night he went from 10pm- 3am). And when he did wake up I'd just feed him, burp him, and he'd go right back to sleep! It was great! We quickly learned how nice it is having a baby who loves being swaddled! Both the girls hated it and would always fight it until they broke free. With Cal, all we have to do is swaddle and rock a bit.

Third Week:
Day 15 was Cal's 2 week check-up-
Weight: 8 lbs. 15 oz (75 percentile)
Height: little less than 22 in (so maybe height at birth was 21 3/4 inches), but still 90th percentile.

Head: 14 7/8 inches (95th percentile)

It was near the end of his 2nd week when Cal started having lots of fussy awake time (grunting, groaning, becoming harder to burp, etc). Luckily all this fussy time was during the day (I was still getting relatively good sleep at night- blocks of 2-3 hours), but it prevented me from getting anything done! Cal quickly was forced to become a fan of the Bjorn. As soon as he started fussing, I'd put him in there, walk around a bit, and he'd fall right to sleep. But near the end of the week I was getting frustrated with feeling like he was always in my arms or attached to me. Not much can get done under these circumstances.

My favorite thing from this week was all the cute smiles we'd get from our little guy. The best was when he'd be asleep (or pretending to be asleep)- I'd say something like, "Oh you're so handsome." And he'd break a little smile for me. Of course it always happens when we're snuggling or I'm holding him real close and giving kisses, so unfortunately no pictures of theses heart melting grins!

Only serious shots for this little guy!

First Sunday at church - almost 3 weeks old. 

Fourth week:
This was the week where I started to get overwhelmed with everything. Life was pretty much back to normal, or least I felt like life should be back to normal. So I was fitting in everything like we used to (library, park, play dates, errand running), but I was getting overwhelmed with how hard the simple things (like getting out the door, getting myself and the girls ready in the morning, making dinner, etc.) had become. I also don't think I was fully aware of just how tired I was actually becoming. Along with getting back to normal, by Cal's 3 week mark I was getting some type of work-out in everyday (started back on elliptical at 3 weeks, and my first run was at 4 weeks.

Life probably seemed particularly stressful this week because Calvin started to become much more needy. His sleeping during the day was just in short spurts and if we were home he'd wake up and want to be held, bounced, or rocked (my back is super sore from all the bouncing we've been doing with him on our exercise ball). Then at night Calvin will wake up to eat, but take forever to burp. Being the middle of the night, I'm completely exhausted and usually just give up, lay him down, and get back into bed. But then 5 minutes later the grunting, groaning, and gagging will start, forcing me out of bed and again trying to get him to burp. It's exhausting. Some nights the process will take up to 2 hours. And other nights I'll end up just falling asleep with him on my chest in an attempt to get a burp.

Now at one month old, Cal sill can only be awake for an hour at a time. If we pass our hour window he becomes super fussy and takes forever to get back to sleep. The girls continue to be great with him. When we're trying to get out the door somewhere and he's screaming in his infant carrier, Madi is the best about singing him song after song while rocking his carrier. And it always seems to do the trick! Elle's the best about keeping him company- sitting next to him while he's in his gym or in the swing or on his pillow and just reading him stories. She's the one I trust most to leave alone with Calvin cause she doesn't try to touch his eyes or face. She just leaves him alone and keeps him company. 

When I went to upload pictures for this post, I realized I haven't taken hardly any pictures the last 2 weeks, probably cause of how crazy it's been. Plus, he's got some pretty awesome baby acne going on right now (not the cutest to take pictures of:). But I did love this shot of Spencer reading Cal bedtime.  stories. Calvin was actually very interested and sat through 5 whole books!

Then just this afternoon we had some gorgeous weather and decided to take Calvin on his first beach outing. He slept through the whole thing except at the very end when he decided to wake up and eat. We quickly snapped a picture before taking off (wish I would have messed around with my f-stop- you can't even tell we're at the beach).

Guilty

You know it's gotten pretty bad when your own kid starts praying "for mom to be a better mom and not get angry". At the end of the night I've got this huge guilty conscience that I'm not being the kind of mom I want to be. I try to justify things and say to myself that Madi only included that in her prayers because I pulled her aside today before going to school and I apologized for getting angry. I told her it's hard to be patient when I'm so tired because Calvin wakes up so much at night. Then I told her how I'm gonna try to be a better mom. But in reality, I know I need to be a better mom. I feel guilty all the time. I'm constantly on the girls, giving empty threats, and hanging time-outs over their heads. I know I really need to simmer down, not be so uptight and and let things slide a little, but I'm not there yet. Madi really does try and push all my buttons every. single. day. It's exhausting trying to stay to patient with her! When she's doing something educational she's great. Madi's like a sponge and soaks up anything and everything new. It's just hard for me to give her enough stuff to work on. Elle whines almost all morning, I think in a way to get attention. Then once Madi's at school she's happy as a clam. She plays so great alone that I really want to use that 2 1/2 hours to get stuff done (a.k.a.- clean the house and take a nap). But then the other day I realized how much Elle needs alone time with me. We were sitting at the table eating some lunch. I'm pretty sure I was doing several other things on top of that, but Elle didn't care. She loved that I was sitting at the table with her and only her. Excitedly she tells me, "We're eating lunch together! Not with Madi- with ME!" It about broke my heart. Such a simple thing that brought her so much happiness. I feel so stretched right now, and in about every direction. I desperately want my kids to know how much I love them, but I also want them to get along, clean up after themselves and be obedient!! Is that too much to ask for??

Grouchy mom

After 4 weeks of going strong, the lack of sleep has finally caught up to me. I'm exhausted. And a tired mom is usually not a very happy mom. All I wanted was a nap today. Did I get one? Nope! And on top of the lack of sleep, I feel like I'm constantly cleaning, yet my house is always a mess. I'm quick to loose my temper, and I'm so sick of the girls fighting. We started a "work it out" plan last week, which has surprisingly had some success (Madi and Elle have been solving their problems and coming to me with smiles and hugs for each other), but my blood still boils when I hear the screaming begin. And why does it always seem to happen when I sit down to nurse? Calvin is chill and likes me to be calm. When I get worked up and stress out, he starts to freak out. My birthday is tomorrow and all I want is a day with NO fighting (a nap would be nice too)! Is that too much to ask for? Madi thinks it's an absolutely ridiculous gift. She says it's too boring and not something fun that I should be asking for. Someday she'll understand!

Hands Full

The girls got themselves dressed this morning. They were just so cute all matchy matchy that I had to find something for Cal to wear to fit into the picture! Oh how these three just melt my heart- especially Cal's little pouty lip.

My baby boy is already 23 days old! In another week I'm gonna have to start saying "months old" instead of days or weeks. Makes me sad. These past 3 weeks have flown by. Cal's getting so big so fast. He's a dream and I really wish I had more time to just enjoy him. But it's hard when he's got two older, very attention demanding sisters! I have so much to blog about, there just hasn't been any time. I have been writing down something about Cal every day though and hopefully will be able to put it all together for his one month post.

Three kids is definitely a handful- especially one being a newborn, but I do think it's been easier going from 2 to 3 kids than it was going from 1 to 2. I still remember the first night after Elle was born that Spencer left me alone with both girls for the evening. I had no clue how I was supposed to do both girls bedtime routine all by myself. I laugh at that now. At Calvin's 2 week mark Spencer had business in Orange County, leaving me for my first overnighter alone with all three kids, and I didn't even really think twice about it. I definitely don't feel at a loss for how to do anything, it's just craziness the majority of the time. I have lots more to say, but I gotta go nurse again and then off to bed. Crossing fingers tonight will be better than last night.

A Happy Visit!

With kindergarten just around the corner, I have all sorts of forms to be turned in for Madi- dental, doctor, and immunization. So with Madi on spring break last week I scheduled her first ever dentist appointment. Knowing Calvin would be just 9 days old, I originally scheduled the appointment thinking Spencer would take her, giving me a quiet morning home with just Elle and Cal. But then he ended up having an important work meeting and I was left alone with all 3 kids. Which actually turned out to be a piece of cake! I dropped Elle off at the Bell's to play with Brooklyn and Easton, and Calvin was asleep within minutes of our drive over. I was super glad that I got to be the one to go and see Madi be such a big girl in the dental chair! She really was the prefect patient- 4 1/2 was a great age to take Madi for the first time. I'm not sure if it would have been as easy a year or so earlier.

She got a purple Ariel toothbrush at the beginning- so all smiles right from the start:

Madi's been playing "dentist" for months, so when the nurse went to count her teeth, Madi informs her, "I have 10 on the top and 10 on the bottom!" Nurse was impressed!

And check out that big wide mouth Madi gave when the nurse told her to open up!

Madi even got to suck her own spit.

She was brave through the complete exam!

Since it was Madi's first check-up, she got to pick out 2 prizes from the toy chest!

Later Madi told me how she liked the dentist better than the doctor- "because the dentist doesn't give shots"! Let's just hope all Madi's dental check-ups are "happy visits"!

Happy Easter!!

We spent a wonderful Easter weekend here at home. Spencer took the girls out yesterday morning to a ward Easter activity. But aside from that, we played at home all weekend. The weather couldn't have been more gorgeous, so we blew up the pool on Saturday and spent a lot of the afternoon outside.

Ready to head off to the ward Easter egg hunt!

I stayed home from church with Calvin today. We hid eggs for the girls while they were gone. I'm not a big fan of doing Easter baskets or even talking up the Easter Bunny, but this past week somehow a bunny had gotten into our backyard. Spencer saw it first and told the girls to get outside and come see. The bunny hid from them in the bushes. Then when they got just close enough, it jumped out and raced past them- inches away from where Elle was standing. Her reaction was hysterical (ear piercing scream, tears, the works)! So not to make her become fearful of bunnies (or anything else in our backyard), Spencer and I went on to explain that it was just the Easter bunny, getting ready for Easter. And what do know, our little fib worked! The girls watched for the "Easter Bunny" everyday. Then when they got home from church, there was a note (written on bunny stickies) stuck to the garage door: "Hi Madi and Elle! Happy Easter! I left you a surprise. Go out the side door and you'll see what I left. Have a HOPPY day! PS. Don't tell anyone you saw me in your bushes. No one is supposed to see me."

Then I'd written with chalk and arrows- directing the girls to the backyard to find their eggs. It was fun. I especially loved hearing Elle squeal with delight every time she found another egg.

This evening we had Spencer's parents over for our traditional Easter dinner of lamb kebabs (Souvlakia), dipped in Tzatkizi sauce, with lemon mint rice, and greek salad, topped off with Strawberry Shortcake for dessert! YUM!!! It was heavenly- probably my favorite holiday meal (or tied with what we make on 4th of July).

Thanks mom and dad for joining us- and for bringing the chairs, tablecloth, flowers, salad, jello, and shortcakes!

It was a wonderful Easter. I was little bummed about not making it to church today. I know it's normal to miss a week or two after having a baby, but not going to church on Easter Sunday just didn't feel right. When I asked Madi what her favorite part of the day was (fully expecting her to say "finding eggs the Easter Bunny left"), she said it was going to church. I'm sad I missed out.

Week One

It's already been one week since Calvin joined our family. And I must say- it flew by WAY too fast! The first week of life with a newborn is always so magical for me.

We brought Calvin home from the hospital on his second day of life and have been enjoying every minute with him since. The girls have been surprisingly wonderful with him. They pretty much just do their normal thing, but then want to stop and adore him each time they walk by- saying something about how cute and/or sweet he is. I thought Elle was going to be more hands on- wanting to hold him, touch him, change diapers, etc. But she's just super gentle. She'll lay on her tummy next to him and quietly talk to him, sing him a song, or read him a story and then give a little kiss. It's the sweetest thing to watch.

Madi's a lot like how she was with Elle- in love, but wanting to touch his eyes and face. For some reason that totally bugs me. But Madi is a huge helper- great with holding him, bringing diapers, wipes, blankets, clothes etc.

This first week home with Cal has definitely been the honeymoon stage. I'm madly in love, everything seems super easy, I feel great, and reality hasn't hit yet! :) He's so super snuggly, has that heavenly newborn smell, makes the cutest faces, rarely cries (only when getting a diaper change), and is adored by everyone!

As for what we've been up to these past couple days . . .

Day 3: Spencer went to work Friday afternoon and Mom spent the day with the girls. I don't even remember everything they did now, but luckily I found some pictures in my camera . . .

Madi's hair salon

Easter cookie making and decorating

And always dealing with some type of craziness!

It was so wonderful to have my mom here to keep the girls entertained and out of trouble.

As for Cal, he spent a lot of time in the sunshine of windows because we thought he might have jaundice.

Day 4: Saturday was a super relaxing day spent at home watching General Conference. The girls did great with their coloring sheets and bingo boards. In between sessions we had a little egg hunt for them. Then they got to eat all their candy- something we never allow! The girls were in heaven! And Cal slept through it all.

Day 5: Gram left early Sunday morning after spending 6 full days taking care of us. We miss her already! Then Boppi and Grandpa Al came over for morning session of conference. Less than a minute after they arrived someone else knocked on the door . . . we were surprised with a special visit from Aunt Lindsay who had been playing in San Diego with girl friends! It was such a fabulous surprise! We taped morning session of conference and watched it the next day so that we could have breakfast and visit with Lindsay. Thanks Linds for the FUN surprise!

Sunday night my good friend Lauren brought over dinner- "nursing mother's soup" as she calls it, which is hands down the best soup I've ever had. I gotta get the recipe.

Day 6: Spencer took Monday off work. He and the girls hit up Costco in the morning, followed by nugets, ice cream, and playing at McDonalds. Then after their quiet time, they rode their bikes over to the park. They got home in time for baths and dinner (lasagna and salad brought in from a sister in the ward). Spencer did scriptures and bed time Monday night while I took Cal in to get checked for jaundice. I had a feeling he was fine and didn't need to be looked at, but now we can have that peace of mind that he's totally fine and doesn't need to spend every minute by a window.

Day 7: ONE WEEK OLD! Spencer stayed home in the morning- didn't leave for work until almost noon. Then Boppi came over around 2pm and picked the girls up for a sleepover at her house. The girls we were super excited and very hyper! They've seemed to be going stir crazy here at home but I can't figure out why since they've done fun stuff every single day. Maybe it's the not getting enough attention from me that's making them crazy. I'm looking forward to next week, for Madi to be back in school and our schedule back to normal. I sure love my little girls, but I have to admit- it was awesome to have a night free of drama, melt downs, arguments, and the regular bedtime routine. BIG thanks to my wonderful in-laws for giving Spencer and I a nice relaxing, peaceful evening. Spencer got home from work at 5:30pm, we had a quiet dinner, and then took Calvin out on his first walk.

And I'm pretty sure he liked it- check out that cute little smirk he's got on his face!

I always feel this need to document everything with a newborn baby- for fear of forgetting something. I want Calvin to know how incredibly in love we all are with him and how oh so very happy we are to have him in our family!